We make many choices in our life, not all of which we are aware of making. Those choices have real consequences, and the less we are aware of making these choices the greater the potential impact on our lives. The impactful choices are not even the big choices, often they are the small, daily choices that we take for granted. These choices include what we say to ourselves (about anything) and what we believe (about anything).
For example, if I believe I deserve chocolate in my life, I will subconsciously act in a way that will invite chocolate to me. I may go buy fine quality chocolate because I deserve it, I’ll notice chocolate stores when I’m driving around, I’ll stand in line for a free chocolate sample at See’s, and my loved ones will give me chocolate because they know it’ll make me happy. Since I’m such a big fan, See’s may even make me their spokesperson and I would then have scotchmallows galore. If, however, I feel I only deserve liver and onions, then I’ll buy liver and onions, I’ll notice when liver and onions are on sale at the grocery store and buy them in quantity so I don’t run out, I’ll be reluctant to order or eat fabulous foods because I don’t deserve them, and my loved ones will serve me liver and onions because they believe that’s what I like to eat.
See what I mean? Our subconscious choices create our reality.
Now, substitute chocolate for happiness, success, love, safety, joy, peace, satisfaction, luck and the opposite of each of those nouns for liver and onions.
In The Luck Factor, Richard Wiseman studies what makes people lucky (he has his own wordpress blog, how cool is that?). Wiseman finds that luck can be learned. In comparison to unlucky people, lucky people are more likely to create opportunity, think/feel lucky and so make lucky decisions, and have a resilience that turns bad luck into good. In one study, Wiseman set up an experiment where he asked participants to count the number of pictures in a newspaper. Half way through he posted a message that said “Stop counting, tell the experimenter you have seen this and win $250.” Guess who noticed the message?
I’ve mentioned in previous blogs* that I have an emotional perspective that tells me, among other things, I will not get what I need. That belief, subconscious until well into my adulthood, colored my whole personality. If I don’t believe I’ll get what I need, I won’t ask anyone for help and so I’ll take care of myself (and everyone around me). In doing so, I am also showing others that I don’t need help, making them unlikely to offer help. If someone can’t figure out what I need, then I’ll have a fit, making it less likely they’ll try again in the future. Thus, my thoughts and beliefs become my self-fulfilling reality. I think it should be called my self-unfulfilling reality.
So be aware of what you’re saying to yourself or believing on any level. You can choose not to believe it and change what is your life experience. So think Big. Dream Big. Be Big.
“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.” ― Lao Tzu
*Please refer to Personal Power: Use It or Lose It, When Helping Becomes Hurtful, Finding Forgiveness Moment By Moment, What Every Couple Should Know Before Getting Married, Your Shadow Self, Conflict: Damned if You Do, Damned if You Don’t…. clearly a favorite subject.