Despite becoming a StrengthsFinders coach in June, and learning about the character value strengths (VIA; authentichappiness.com) this fall, I admit I have not really thought of my family of origin much in strength terms until now. Observing and noticing strengths is something I tend to do when I’m with someone, as opposed to reflecting back on their actions and behaviors retrospectively.
Since Mom passed away, the only way to assess her strengths is in hindsight. The family went through old documents and photos, and shared memories of her. During this memorial, I listened for the strength themes that emerged. They are so obvious in hindsight, but I never really stopped to think about them before that point. Instead, I have had a tendency to be more aware of how our similarities would often come between us. For example, we’re both so stubborn and fireworks can happen when two people are not flexible in their life view or approach. Thinking of Mom through a strengths perspective makes me realize how much she really gave to me.
- Zest – my crazy energy and drive comes from her. The character strength zest apparently increases the likelihood that I will sense my calling – to help others be the best possible versions of themselves. Possibly I would not even be here pursuing my calling if it were not for her.
- Perseverance/focus – this is the stubbornness I mentioned above. We’re gritty. We don’t give up, sometimes even long past when we should.
- Input – going through Mom’s stuff, I realized she collected tidbits of information on endless pads of paper. She probably had every phone number she’s ever written down. Most of the information is in Chinese so I can’t understand it. I have endless pads of paper too but keep my information on paper lists and hundreds of Word documents.
- Ability to love and be loved – I couldn’t always see it as such, but Mom was always trying to help others grow and to be better people. This is my personal mission as well, though our styles are very different.
- Ideation – Mom was an extremely creative cook. I didn’t acquire that as much as I would’ve liked, but my interest in trying new things comes from her.
Thanks Mom. There is more of you in me than I realized, and they are shared traits that I treasure even more.