Chris and I have been together for 3 blissful years and now I’m alone again. Well, not exactly. Chris will be doing a lot of traveling now, so though not single, I will be spending a lot of time on my own again, reminiscent of the post-separation days.
This will be much easier than those days. First, I have a wonderful, supportive and close relationship with my sweetheart, and though not physically present, he’s there for me emotionally and in every other way every day. Second, I don’t have the trauma of this major life upheaval to deal with. Third, Skype does wonders for when you’re missing someone. Amazing how that live image makes such a big difference in terms of feeling like whether you’re together.
Nonetheless, the physical separation is not easy for anyone, especially for an extrovert and relator (someone who loves to build intimate relationships). My pups are always a balm for loneliness and are great company in their own right and my sweet little house is soothing to me in the way the big family house really cannot match. Plus I can draw on my experience from being alone before to plan my strategy.
Last time I was on my own, I used that time to focus on the things that fed my soul. I didn’t have too many single friends back then. Now I have a few, so I can try to spend more time with them. I have a lot going on at work and school now, so I’ll be able to savor and enjoy the additional free time I will have to study or work (I know that sounds odd, but that’s how I feel about work right now!). There are also a few things that I have given up in the past year or two for school and my, at the time, new relationship. The gym, dancing, leisure reading, meditation, vegging out in front of the TV, window shopping, going to matinees, journaling and baking are all going to be on my agenda again.
In short, whether I’m in a relationship or not, it is my responsibility to make sure I get what I need. I can’t wait to see my sweetheart again, but I’m also looking forward to indulging this other part of me too. And knowing that I’m doing that while he’s pursuing his dream makes it all the sweeter.