Energy Management and Impact on Others, Part I


What are the unseen forces that connect us?

Even the question is evocative.  As an academic and scientist, we don’t like to deal with the unseen and unmeasurable.  If we can’t detect it, it doesn’t exist.  However, a subpopulation among us know that this energy/emotional field we invisibly project is real.  I’m not among this population so I have been one of the people denying its existence.  But I’ve seen people sense this energy, even in the apparent absence of visual or auditory cues.

At least I think I have.

OK so I’m not 100% convinced but I’m pretty sure about it.  For example, I think I’m a pretty savvy and self-aware person (haha) and feel like I do a good job hiding how I really feel when I think it’s appropriate to do so.  For example, I may get mad at something but I don’t necessarily want to share that until I’ve spent some time processing it.  (You can teach an old dog new tricks)

But no.  I’m not really hiding my anger because those folks with that radar can pick it up instantly even though I’ve said and done nothing, and have, in fact, made every attempt to mask my feelings.  Folks with the radar can sense the energy of a room before even entering it.  This, folks, is beyond my comprehension, though I haven’t completely discounted other possible cues such as observing the way we hold our bodies, clench our jaws, or the tone of the conversation.  We are experts at noticing such cues (“we” as in the collective “we,” since I’m not that great at it.)

This is not just an intellectual exercise debating the nature of the metaphysical.  This energy factor is important because that energy, whether manifested by our tone or body language, impacts other people.  I may not be able to notice other people’s energy effectively but I do notice mine.  It’s not just my emotion.  That energy includes the feeling in my chest that’s either a tightness or looseness.  When it’s tight, I’m keeping my energy to myself.  I tend to be more closed emotionally to others, and it’s easier for me to go into dominant/command mode.  When it’s loose, I’m sharing my energy with others in an open way and I’m more inclined to go into compassion and empathy mode.     I’m more open to another’s reality and receiving their energy.  The former makes me feel tense; the latter more relaxed and energized.

I believe that other people sense the presence of that energy.  When I’m in open mode, I tend to have more eye contact and smiles from strangers, and I’m more approachable in general.  When you are sharing your energy, others are attracted to interacting with you.   I never understood why students used to think I’m unapproachable as I always invited them to come talk to me with their questions but I believe I can now explain it by energy management.

I think that energy management has to do with presence.  To me, presence means “being present”, attending to the present moment and the person you’re with.  But it also is an important element of the command strength.  My command strength can be a real assh*le if I’m not managing it.  It comes across as a bully.  But by keeping my energy open, that command becomes “presence.”  I suspect this presence is also a sort of stage presence.  It’s a positive energy that draws the eye and attention.   Negative energy can also draw attention but in a morbid-curiosity manner.

So you see, energy management does matter.  If your life involves relationships and influencing people, then managing your energy effectively makes a difference in how you interact with others.  Even if you’re trying to mask it, others can tell whether your energy is kind, generous, positive, loving or angry, hostile, condescending or just generally an assh*le.  Who do you think they’re more likely to want to deal with?   Who are they going to want  to help or listen to?  You got it.  So pay attention and be present with your energy.  Try to be more intentional about managing it and see what happens.