The scientist in me is unsure about where the voice deep inside me originates. That voice is different from the part of my brain that thinks and thinks and thinks, sometimes incessantly. I know it’s different because I can only hear it when I shut off the brain.
That deep voice is accessed through quiet reflection. I sit quietly until the noise in my brain subsides, and then I wait. I’m open to the messages that emerge from within. I examine those messages, and realize that once again that they are my truth.
I have always trusted that voice as my truth and know that this voice is the one that really matters. When I have tough decisions to make, I start with the head, but decide with the heart. I’ve learned long ago that once I hear that inner voice, I am compelled to obey it. I have never regretted the choices or doubted the wisdom that comes from within.
That inner voice used to be used mainly for big decisions, but now that I’ve decreased the ongoing, seemingly endless running dialog in my brain, the wisdom of my heart is more evident each day. I also go into the quiet reflective space more frequently and intentionally to access my creativity. For example, when I sit down to blog and don’t know what to write, there I go. After over 2 years of blogging, I never have writer’s block when I can access that voice.
Given how much I rely on that inner voice, looking back I feel somewhat embarrassed for having ignored her for so long. My head makes pretty good decisions most of the time. The problem though is that my head is often hijacked without my knowledge by my irrational emotional self. In this event, that irrational self is making the decisions but the head is justifying and rationalizing the crazy as something sane. My inner self sees through all the BS and senses the truth.
Now you think I’m schizophrenic. Now I think I’m schizophrenic. That’s OK, my inner voice tells me that’s what makes being human so darn interesting.