10 Ways I Make Myself Unhappy

“Life is difficult.…. Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it-then life is no longer difficult.” ― M. Scott Peck

Sometimes I’m under the delusion that life is supposed to be easy. Things are supposed to go the way that I want or envisioned. If not, I make myself miserable.

In other words, I create my own unhappiness. Here’s how:

  1. Thinking life is supposed to be easy or fair
  2. Being critical of myself or others – this is often unconscious and instantaneous
  3. Assuming or feeling I’m being criticized, judged or treated unfairly
  4. Deciding a situation is bad then failing to find the silver lining or question my assumption
  5. Ruminating about the past and what I should’ve done differently
  6. Worrying about or trying to control something that I really cannot control
  7. Feeling powerless when I can take action
  8. Believing someone else has control over me
  9. Being afraid of failure
  10. Thinking there’s something wrong with adversity

Though we tend to assume that happiness, contentment, and joy are our desired states, disappointment and struggle are also important elements for growth and change.

“Joy is sometimes a blessing, but it is often a conquest. Our magic moment help us to change and sends us off in search of our dreams. Yes, we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times, and we will experience many disappointments — but all of this is transitory it leaves no permanent mark. And one day we will look back with pride and faith at the journey we have taken.” – Coelho

Adversity is an opportunity to re-examine our habits, assumptions, beliefs and strategies. It invites us to re-examine our circumstances and find a solution, an improvement, a new perspective, or a new path.

“When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way.” Coelho


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