Working in higher education, I am pretty fortunate to be running with a well-educated crowd. Therefore, it always surprises me when people confess that they have the imposter syndrome. MD. PhD. DDS. Pharm.D. JD. It doesn’t matter. No matter how successful one might be, they could be thinking, “someday someone will figure out that I … Continue reading Imposter Syndrome
Be practical. Be realistic. Be careful. Don’t trust others. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I don’t want to get burned or get my hopes up unrealistically. But I also don’t want to live my life feeling like I can’t trust and hope. We learned in school about realistic optimism: being optimistic in a realistic way. … Continue reading Starry-Eyed Idealist
You know that thing in your partner that you first loved, now hate (or something in between)? You’ve probably suspected if not known that the love/hate dynamic is very common and real. Relationship expert Harville Hendrix describes this phenomenon as the imago. Imago refers to our tendency to seek partners that reproduce our childhood wounds. … Continue reading Love/Hate Dynamic in Relationships
I’m a recovering control freak. And I’m proud of it. Not of the control freak part. Of the recovering part. Just like alcoholism or any other mental health issue, control freak and perfectionism (oh yeah, I am a recovering perfectionist too) are things that we sometimes want to bury and pretend do not apply to … Continue reading More Blind Spots – In An Accepting Way
So much of our world is created by our cognitive habits. What we notice is often habit, how we interpret what we notice is often habit. Our beliefs are often habit too. For example, there was a really long period of time where I did not take a look at the opposite political persuasion to … Continue reading What You Focusin’ On?
Do you know someone that does not know how to show their love? You may know they love you but you may not feel loved by them. Is it because they can’t show love or are they too selfish or narcissistic to be able to love someone else? This blog is also not about how … Continue reading Not Feeling the Love
Do you sometimes feel that you shouldn’t feel a certain way? “I shouldn’t be mad,” “I should be more patient,” “I should be enjoying this” and so on. When we treat emotions as “shoulds” or “shouldn’ts,” then we run the risk of losing our authenticity and even, to some degree, what makes us human. First … Continue reading The Value of Our Emotions
According to actual research, or maybe just urban legend, people fear public speaking more than even death. Speech class in college didn’t really bother me. Yes I had to make a fool of myself (potentially) in front of a small group of students, but they were strangers and I had nothing at stake except my … Continue reading Facing Fear – It Ain’t All Bad
One of the reasons I started writing this blog is to make me talk about things that make me feel uncomfortable and vulnerable. The vulnerability topic for today has to do with the need to be seen in a certain way. Like most unconscious drivers, most of us at one point or another, feel we … Continue reading Must Be Seen As….
The unseen but tangible relationships between gratitude, positivity, forgiveness, optimism and productivity, creativity and even good luck have been shown in scientific research. The more you embody positive emotions, the happier and more successful you are likely to be. The phenomenon has much to do with creating your own reality: the more that you … Continue reading The Karmic Parenting of Humanity