How do you make decisions? Are you analytical or intuitive, or some combination?
In the past I would usually relied on intellect and analysis to make decisions, using my brain to guide me. The trouble with using my brain as the primary tool for decision-making is that the brain is driven by fear, and my decisions would therefore be fear-based. Perfection and control, both demanding mistresses.
Though I’ve historically relied on my brain for most decision-making, I did use my heart for important decisions such as career trajectories, major relationship decisions, or what car or house to buy. Somehow I knew that with the big decisions, I should rely on my heart since my heart ultimately decides how I feel about the decision.
Why I felt that was true only for big decisions is a mystery to me. After all, don’t dozens of small decisions add up to a big one? Somehow I think I just convinced myself that using my brain for everything was the right thing, even when that meant hurting others because I couldn’t be bothered to calculate the human element into the equation.
My change of heart (pun intended)on this topic has since resulted in a switch in my Myers-Briggs personality trait from a strong “T” (thinking) to a moderate “F” (feeling) as the primary way that I make decisions. I’m proud of this flip flop because it means I can alternate between T and F frames, but I now erring on the side of considering the human part of the equation. Which is where I want it to be.
Using feelings to make decisions is one step removed from using intuition. As a person who over relied on thinking for decisions, I was pretty disconnected from my intuition. For example, when deciding how to best handle an interpersonal situation, I used to do a calculation in my head based on the rules, and my values and principles, which did not usually include other people’s feelings. Now I tap into my own feelings and try to ascertain how others might feel in the situation, and integrate that information into the decision. This is called emotional intelligence.
Now, I’ve added a deeper element, which is intuition.
I’m trying here to unpack the difference between guidance and intuition. Guidance comes in two different flavors in my experience. First, there’s the explicit, in-my-channel conversations that I have with my guides. But there’s also the more in-my-gut feelings that I get from my subconscious, and I believe, the divine. I imagine it’s this latter form of communication that most people use when receiving divine guidance.
The advantage of intuition is that it provides a deeper and more holistic understanding of situations that’s not available during a conversation with my guides. Intuition is more instantaneous compared to conversation, which is relatively linear, inefficient, and slow. I’m also learning that as time goes by, I’m relying more on intuition than dialogue, and my connection feels more integrated in this manner. However, I imagine there will always be instances where the specificity of dialogue with the guides is needed and cannot be replaced by intuition.
Regardless of the mode of communication, the message that comes across pervasively, and loud and clear, is that Spirit/God loves each one of us, even when we transgress into behaviors and actions that are not in alignment with his wishes for us. This is true for all people, regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity, income, country of origin, ability, or other aspects of our social identity. Spirit/God loves all of us, no exceptions, and God wants us to love each other and Earth unconditionally.
To fail to do so is against Spirit/God’s will for us and karmic consequences will follow, either way. For example, if I treat someone as unwelcome because of their age or gender, then I will feel unwelcome in my life. If I am welcoming, then I will feel welcomed.
I believe we all have, deep down, an intuition that we should all love each other no matter whether we approve of another person’s social identity. The Arbinger Institute has written a series of books that discusses how we unknowingly create problems for others, and it starts when we make a (usually subconscious) decision to betray our own values and do the wrong thing. What ensues is a cascade of events where we have to blame the other for our transgression, thus escalating the insult on the other, when in fact the origination of the problem is when we decided to do the wrong thing.
For instance, in the above example where I decide not to include or welcome someone, in my subconscious I justify it by now believing that the person is scary or unworthy, then acting unfriendly towards them as a result. They act unfriendly in response, which justifies my belief to further exclude them, not realizing that I believed they were nice enough before I decided to betray my own intuition and values, and exclude them.
We are entering into the holiday season which is about togetherness, peace, and love. Perhaps we should all be intentional about tapping into our intuition that we are all connected, and to do even a small injustice on someone else creates injustice for us all. Create the karma that you want for yourself, and show kindness, forgiveness, gratitude, and compassion towards yourself and others every day this holiday season.
It may become your new habit for 2020.
I can’t think of a better time to start than right now.